"When we rely on externals to validate who we are–whether these externals be other people’s affections, other people’s opinions (our “status”), material belongings, our outward appearance, our accomplishments (or at least, how those accomplishments make other people perceive us), or anything else that isn’t generated from within, we have created a reflected sense of self, which puts us in an extremely precarious position. Because as soon as any of those externals from which we derive self worth goes away, our self worth goes away, too.

This is why it is soooo important to develop a strong, internally-derived sense of who you are. Without it, you are like a quivering leaf, a potential victim of any breeze that comes along. But with it, you are like the tree itself, with deep, solid roots and a powerful trunk, capable of losing all of its leaves without losing its character or identity."

This has solid advice on INTP growth. Develop your extraverted intuition; learn to see things objectively.